This is a collection of the stories and ridiculous outtakes behind the more polished and "official" recreation photos. Some of these have fun stories, some of them are just funny pictures.
Can't remember the name of this one off the top of my head, and I'm too lazy to go check my other post. Not really an outtake, just a reimagined version. The original has Mary reverent and awestruck, but, to be honest, I always imagined joy.
The Lady of Shalott
This was shot in roughly two and half feet of snow to the side of our house in March. Brenna insisted on taking off her boots to sit inside of the kayak...I was in snowshoes, stomping over the snow, and just couldn't get the right angle--so I sat down. Big mistake...I can't get back up because I can't get my weight centered over my snowshoes and just keep sinking deeper into the snow. I finally yell for Brenna to come help me. Now, if you remember, she inexplicably has no boots on--so she inches forward, attempting to reach her boots which are sitting just at arm's reach so they weren't on camera. She overreaches, overbalances, and falls out of the boat, still barefoot but now barefoot in two and a half feet of snow. She starts squawking in indignation and flapping hysterically on the nose of the kayak. I'm still floundering about, laughing my quickly freezing butt off, hoping I don't sink low enough to suffocate. Several neighbors pass by and watch us struggle for a few minutes, but thanks to Covid 19 and social distancing, we are left to our doom without so much as an insincere "Need help?"
Finally I order Brenna inside because her boots are now full of snow and her feet are still bare and there are corpses with better circulation than her. I manage to dig the packed ice out of the snowshoe fastener and kick them off, post-holing my way back to the porch with the boat, which luckily glides right over the snow.
I was promptly informed there would be no more boat pictures unless they were on the porch.
2nd Attempt at Lady of Shalott
Around April we had an enormous seasonal pond on the path behind our house, so we decided to take advantage of the conveniently close water to reshoot the one picture we needed water for. It turned out nicely, even though the minions were grumpy about hauling the kayak out for my use instead of theirs (they had been kayaking on it the day before) and, as you can see, her ladyship was not super pleased to be conscripted into carrying it back. At least she had her boots on this time.
The Thinker
Naturally, this is the outtake for Rodin's famous pensive statue. No further explanation necessary.
Circe Offering the Cup to Ulysses
This was hands down the most technically difficult recreation. I don't own a huge mirror, so we had to improvise. It was built in layers. The "mirror" is a grey sheet pinned to the right shape, with Ken playing Odysseus and thumb-tacked in place. Then we add Brenna, face against the wall, because she has the closest hair to match Aeryn. They have to be positioned exactly right. Aeryn isn't tall enough, so she has to sit on books (including, fittingly, Bulfinch's Mythology). More books have to be stacked to get the "frame" to the right height, but now Jane saves the day by wedging herself at butt-height between her sisters to hold the hula hoop in place. It took probably an hour to get everything set up for the 1 minute of photo-shoot. Blergh. We took it easier after this.
Judith and the Head of Holofernes
No Leahs were harmed in any of the beheading photos. We actually did both this and Salome and the Head of John the Baptist in the same day because she didn't want the beard drawn on more than once (and I didn't want to waste the rest of my eyeliner on her mustache).
Pandora
This is one of my favorites of Echo just because of the sociopathic delight on her face as she opens this box of plagues. The smoke was made by a candle we lit and shoved in the box.
The Creation of Adam
Bren and Leah are the masterminds between this outtake, which they dubbed The Passing of the Remote. God might have a couple of words with them later, but I laughed.
La Belle Dame Sans Merci
No real story behind this one, just two of the minions being dorks.
George Washington Crossing the Delaware
As threatened by Brenna, the girls would only pose with the boat on the porch. It took the whole crew to stage this, and they were all too happy to threaten their General, who had been very imperious throughout the whole ordeal.
The Anatomy Lesson of Dr. Nicolaes Tulp
More eyeliner was sacrificed for everyone's Van Dyke, and then Echo got her Zombie on.
Venus de Milo
Leah objected at first to being caked with makeup and powder--and there was sooooooo much of it--but she enjoyed getting to scream about her missing arms.
Girl at Mirror
This was a fun reinterpretation of the Rockwell painting where the little girl is reading about ancient warrior queens and has her sword close at hand. I actually like this version more than the original.
It took some more photo-trickery to get this shot. I dressed some sisters as dementors and had them crouch uncomfortably for a long time to get the picture I wanted. They wanted to eat, so they complied.
Lady with an Ermine
In our recreation we ultimately used a white fox because it just looked better, but originally Brenna made a weasel out of one of Rick's socks. The weasel, played here by Brenna, didn't make the final cut but it made a great outtake.
Egypt
Our cat Bat decided to make himself at home in the pyramids.
Two diva Egyptians.
Echo got tired of waiting for her turn to pose, so she strolled in and refused to move until she got her picture taken.
Salome and the Head of John the Baptist
This was one of my favorite shoots. We achieved the headless look by hanging a backdrop of black velvet and then covering Leah with black velvet from the shoulders down, with Bren clutching her hair just out of frame. The original pic took just a few minutes, and we had so much more fun with the outtakes. My two drama queens had the rest of us dying.
Leah, rocking her beard. As she said, "I'm FABULOUS."
The Favorite
She's just so darn cute. I love this picture. Any of my girls would love to hold a devil dog. The demon was built out of a large plush wolf, with cardboard antlers and an extra mouth of felt hot-glued together and pinned to the muzzle.
Fred the Pony
This was our pony, Fred, built from a furniture box specifically for Prayer at Valley Forge. Somebody joked about using a stickhorse, but I was feeling super extra. "B****, please, you want a horse? I'll show you a horse." I freehanded the horse, taped it together, and airbrushed him to a dapple grey. His saddle and bridle are made from cardboard and strips of fake leathery material, with a saddle blanket made from one of my pillow cases. I added some details and a yarn tail, and Voila! Fred lived under the stairs for a while. I finally decided it was time to get rid of him but the girls intervened and now he's living his best life hanging above Leah's bed.
The Execution of Lady Jane Grey
What? We aren't trying to kill you. What are you talking about? *whistles nonchalantly*
Ophelia
Jane was such a good sport, hanging out in the warm tub fully dressed for probably twenty minutes without complaint. The wet dress was ridiculously heavy when she finally stood up. It took every piece of loose green material in my house (two towels, an Army-issue wool blanket, and a wool cloak) to make the background, along with my Christmas greenery, some spinning wool, and some quickly gathered sticks.
The Birth of Venus
Hands down my very favorite outtake. This was another detailed set up, with a lot of parts and people to arrange. The censor blocks were Bren's idea.
I freaking love my kids. They're hilarious. I'm so grateful to have had this opportunity with them, and though they probably won't remember much of it besides the living room being covered with piles of fabric and me yelling incoherently, it was still worth it. At any rate, this adventure we started back in February is *finally* over. Thanks for taking it with us.
Fin.
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