Sunday, August 31, 2025

Viva Las Vegas

My girls just got back from living it up in Vegas with some friends.  Well, not too much living since no one in their crew is drinking or gambling age (and even if they were are remarkably responsible...and poor).  I'm a little jealous, but I got to go visit my friends in Vegas back in November so I can't complain too much.



The closest we got to the strip was the highway.  No complaints. There was also a car racing event downtown, so we just avoided the whole thing.


I've been to Vegas a couple of times in my life.  I'm largely not a fan.  It's desert, it's hot, and it's the number one destination for people who aren't great at holding their liquor, their money, or their clothes.  It takes a compelling reason to make the trip.  This time, it was the wedding of one of Rick's friends that prompted Rick, the number 2 kid, and I to make the 12-hour drive west.  The wedding itself was wonderful.  It didn't start out that way--it turns out someone (Rick) forgot to RSVP for both of us, but luckily someone else had canceled so I had a seat.  The bride and groom had a lovely ceremony out in a rose-trellised gazebo, then a reception that combined traditions from their Vietnamese and Korean heritages (including lion dancers).  It was awesome, and it was a privilege to share the evening with them. 



We went for the wedding, but the friends and family were the jewel of the trip.  We stayed with some of my very favorite people in the world.  Years ago we met up in Alaska; we both have six girls, both homeschool, and we hit it off pretty quickly.  There are very few people whose home I could comfortably invade, but these folks are on that elect list.


We picked right up where we'd left off.  Despite her swearing she's not the tour guide kind of host, she still chauffeured us out to Red Rocks for some hiking one day.  Despite the heat we did a couple of short hikes and also found some of the local burros.  Obviously, we chased them down for a picture.  










The next few adventures were much smaller--a bird rescue and a farmer's market down the street.  The bird rescue was wild.  It was full of rescued farm animals as well as two houses full of parrots, including some psychotic cockatoos who climbed down the walls of their cages to flirt with the girls and scream at the rest of us.  The farmer's market was overrun with barn cats and the occasional chicken.  We all made some furry friends.  Add in some yummy Greek food and some late-night gabbing, and it was a pretty good day.








Another highlight of the weekend was visiting Rick's fabulous cousin and her family.  (Apparently Vegas is where all the cool people live.)  His cousin and her husband are brilliant, hilarious, and know all the best food joints in town.  We had dinner at an Asian fusion joint and dessert at a coffee house, with a side of political discussion and medical provider anecdotes.

After a couple of whirlwind days without nearly enough sleep, it was time to go home. Courtesy of my number 2 kid being obsessed with musicals, we listened to Epic and discussed Greek mythology. We also read through a chunk of Let's Pretend This Never Happened by The Bloggess (Jenny Lawson). I love road trips with my crew.  Even if we don't get crazy (like I said before, we're unfortunately rather responsible and not big drinkers despite being legally old enough and then some) we always have a pretty good time.


A giant freaking stuffed rabbit at the farmer's market.  There's a cat underneath it.



And a pic from the girls' trip.  She thought she was funny.

Thursday, August 7, 2025

If You Take Your Family Hiking



 If you take your family hiking, you'll have to make a plan. You'll start by picking a good trail.  Not too long, not too short, not too far away, not too steep, not too boring, not too popular.  You'll check the weather and pick a day that everyone's free.

When you find the right hike and pick the right day, you'll have to wake them up.  Some people will be helpful and take initiative, but others will start to complain even though you've been talking about this for three days.  They'll find a thousand reasons not to go, each stupider than the last.

When you counter all their reasons, they'll say they have nothing to wear.  You'll send them back to find the pants they never wear but that still wind up in the laundry every week. They'll complain about not being able to wear shorts, and you'll remind them--patiently, again--about cactus, rocks, and all the biting/stinging/venomous things that live where you'll be walking.

When they're finally dressed in weather and terrain appropriate clothes, they'll need to get some shoes.  Inevitably one kid's shoes are too hot, another wants to wear sandals, and a third kid can only find one of any given kind.  You'll help them look.

When everyone has their shoes on, you'll grab the backpack your surprisingly prescient youngest packed.  It's stocked with snacks, sunscreen, water-bottles, her sister's travel emergency kit, and spare toys if she gets bored.  Impressive.  You herd everyone to the car.

When they're getting buckled, someone will have to pee.  You'll have to unlock the house again, but at least you'll be able to drive straight to the hike.

When everyone is back in the car, you'll start driving.  Your husband will need snacks.  Good snacks, not the ones from the house.  So you'll pull over. Everybody will want snacks.  You've made it out the door, and you're not going back.  Snacks it is.  They will be eaten by the time you finish driving.


When you get to the trailhead, one kid will bolt down the trail, one will ask to stay in the car, and another will need to pee.   You will locate the port-a-potty and make everyone pee. Then you will summon the overly energetic child and hand them the backpack to slow them down; this will also encourage the stragglers to keep up if they want what's left of the good snacks. You will be proud of your problem-solving skills.

When you finally start hiking, someone will complain, loudly, about everything.  Several will probably take turns voicing their discomfort. It's hot.  Their feet hurt.  They could've been sleeping.  The sweat feels gross on their back. You will try to divert their attention by pointing out the flowers, the views, and--is that a deer?  They will refuse to be distracted.  You will tell them to deal with it, and the fastest way back to the van is to finish the hike.  No, they can't wait there while everyone else hikes.  Because, that's why.


When you start to make some distance, some of your crew will insist on climbing over every rock and jumping off every tree stump.  You will warn them that they will get tired. They will promise they won't.  You will know it is a lie.


While you are trying to slow down your explorers and encourage your stragglers, another child will be fascinated by every tiny flower, alienesque bug, bark texture, oddly colored rock, and weirdly shaped cactus.  They will want to take pictures of everything.  You will consider using a stick to hurry them up but will remind yourself that you are doing all of this to enjoy nature and your family.  Theoretically.

When you're two miles up the trail, someone will demand snacks because they are starving to the point of imminent death.  You will offer the mostly healthy, energizing snacks in the backpack.  Even though the snacks are what they eat every day at home, apparently they are now undesirable and possibly poisoned.  You will allow them to eat the sleeve of crackers and crumbs of the gas station snacks instead.

When they've eaten the crackers, they'll be thirsty.  You will encourage them to drink water.  One will chug the water until their stomach hurts, another will say they're not thirsty, and a third will say the water tastes weird.  You will make them drink it anyway.


When everyone has had a satisfactory amount of water, you'll get everyone back on their feet.  Without leaving the trail someone will manage to get a splinter.  You will look everywhere for the tweezers and discover that's the one thing not in the kit.  You promise yourself you'll get a pair just for hiking.  Meanwhile, your husband will whip out his folding pocket-sword with a six-inch blade and perform surgery on the trailside.

When the splinter has been extracted, someone will have to pee.  The only bushes around are knee-high, so they will refuse to go.  You will encourage them to go anyway because the only toilet for miles is back at the trailhead and no one else is around. They will refuse and bring it up frequently for the rest of the hike.

When you are three miles in, one of your kids will lie down in the middle of the trail and declare they live there now, just leave them there and pick them up on the way back.  You promise it's almost time to turn around.  They won't believe you. Your husband will poke them with a stick until they get up.


When you get to the main destination of your hike, everyone will be happy for about twenty minutes.  All fatigue, hunger, injustice and ennui will melt away as the kids scramble up to see the cliff-dwelling or the old abandoned mine or the 100-mile-mountain view.  You will feel vindicated.


When it's time to start back down, even as you have foretold the kids who have been darting off trail and scrambling over rocks and have walked roughly three times further than you have are suddenly exhausted.  You give them five minutes to rest and make them drink more water.  

When they've drunk, they'll have to pee even more.  Since there's still insufficient booty-cover, they will refuse again. However, they are walking faster now out of desperation to get back to the trailhead port-a-potty, so you don't press the issue. You're all almost back, even the one who is still working on their photo-documentary and the other who is still complaining about how much they don't want to be there. 


When one of your helpful children senses that her siblings aren't enjoying themselves as much as she is, she will offer unasked for encouragement and start singing and pointing out tiny flowers and oddly colored rocks.  Half of her siblings will sing along and ooh and aah at her discoveries.  The other half will silently plot her demise.  You will take the backpack with the keys in it and make a beeline for the parking lot.


When you finally get back to the car, you will reach for the keys but not be able to find them.  You will search three times through the backpack, a little more frantic each time as you wonder where they could have possibly fallen out on the trail.  Then you will find them wedged between the sunscreen and the mysteriously reappeared tweezers in a side pocket.  Just in time, too, because the kids are loudly on the edge of heat-stroke and dehydration.  You will usher them into the car.

As soon as everyone is buckled, someone will remember they have to pee.  You will get everyone out for a last visit to the bathroom and promise yourself you're never doing this again.

 When everyone is finally buckled and you're on the highway home, all of your kids without exception will start talking about what an amazing time they had.  One will talk about the big rocks they climbed.  Another will talk about the rabbit they saw.  The perpetual complainer will sigh about how pretty everything was.  Yet another will mention how good it felt to get out and move, and they'll all crowd around to look at the 200 pictures their sibling managed to take in a little over two hours. It will be the best day they've had in a long time. The one who asked to be left for dead will hug you and say, "Thanks for taking us hiking, Mom."  And then you'll start to think that the last couple hours might have been worth the hassle.  You'll remember this other trail that you wanted to do with a waterfall at the end.  Maybe, just maybe, you all should go hiking again next week.

And if you take your family hiking, you'll have to make a plan.


Tuesday, June 24, 2025

Girls Trip!

As a Mother's Day gift to myself, I escaped El Paso with a couple of friends on a turn and burn to Santa Fe for a girls' rafting trip.  I was a little anxious at first.  It's still a bit of an adjustment to dip out on the family, and it was also my first time really getting to know one of the women I was with.  I needn't have worried.  The family survived my absence, and both of my companions were simply phenomenal.

Fun backstory tangent--originally there were only going to be two of us, but then we opted to invite a third (and we are so glad we did).  My friend's husband had been dubious about us going "unsupervised" (he thinks I am a bad influence on his wife--I'm roughly 90% sure he's joking) and was relieved when we told him about the third friend we'd invited. He said something to the effect of "Good.  She's responsible and will keep you two out of trouble." Imagine my delight when I found out on the drive our "responsible" chaperone was getting her motorcycle permit the next week and going skydiving later this summer.  Even typing this weeks later I have a very satisfied smirk about the whole situation.

Anyway, we found our way to Santa Fe with no issues except for a lost wallet.  We have absolutely no idea what happened to it.  It could only possibly have been at one of two places; we called both and drove back to the closest one, but no dice, which sucks.  (It was never found.)  The wallet was the only blight on an otherwise great trip.

After five hours of conversation and snacks, we were ready to stretch our legs.  We considered hiking Tent Rocks National Monument (look it up, it looks totally wicked), but it's on Cochiti Pueblo and requires two sets of reservations and exorbitant fees that we weren't willing to wrangle on short notice.  We opted for Bandelier National Monument instead.  All day we'd been watching a storm build on the horizon with growing concern; it broke as we checked in to Bandelier.  (In a strangely literary twist, it was also at this time that we discovered the missing wallet.) We persisted despite being almost immediately drenched by the fat raindrops.  In retrospect, it probably wasn't the smartest decision--the trails we picked involved steep climbs and multiple slick wood ladders--but, dang it, we were out for an adventure and an adventure we would have.  We soggily pressed on, taking only a brief respite in a cliff dwelling with a half-dozen other hikers who had also been caught in the rain.  Fortunately Someone took pity on us and our stubbornness and the rain tapered off a little over half an hour later. (Not, coincidentally, before the first of the ladders.  But we lived.)



I need a new pose for pictures.  What a dork.

The view from inside.

Some of our fellow refugees from the rain.

No health problems, and as for heights...we just didn't look down.

It was gorgeous.  Sunlight slanting through the pines, trees steaming after the rain, and a view of the canyon from a native site 130 feet up the canyon wall. Fresh rain, great company, cool history and no broken ankles--it doesn't get much better than that. 

It was steep and tilted to the left.  Luckily it was bolted firmly to the rock and had had a chance to dry off a little.

The third of four ladders.






Though we considered taking a selfie with the sign, we behaved ourselves and stayed on the safer side of the rail like totally responsible adults.



 Amped and ready for dinner, we returned to Santa Fe. Now, Santa Fe was...okay.  For a state capitol, I wasn't super impressed.  When we got back from hiking and checking the rest stop for the wallet, it was about 8 o'clock and most of the restaurants were closing by 9--on a Friday.  We settled for one of the few local restaurants open.  It was edible, but not great.  Our hotel was a hipstery little place that was half-renovated and could have used a bigger parking lot, but for $85 a night and clean sheets, it was still a steal.

The lobby ceiling of the hotel.

The next day we were up bright and early for breakfast burritos and a drive towards our meetup with New Mexico Rafting Adventures.  We weren't entirely sure what to expect.  Two of us had rafted once, several years before, and not on the Rio Grande.  We were spooked a little and overpacked in case the river was frostier than intended.


It was.  I opted not to use the wet suit, and the first wave that washed over the side of the raft was...refreshing, which is a nice way of saying it was freaking cold and I might have yelped a little as I was doused from toe to thigh.  Luckily my companions were a bit smarter than me and had taken the wetsuits.   As for me, it was too late to change my mind so I just whimpered quietly to myself and carried on.  My feet quickly went numb, so between that, paddling through the rapids and our guide's informative chatter about the local history and geology I was distracted from my self-inflicted discomfort.





Between rapids we got to see petroglyphs and New Mexico Slow Elk (just cows of the normal mooing variety, but the guide thought he was very clever).  After our last and biggest rapid, we were given the option to get off the raft and float for a bit.  The guide thumped the river bottom with his paddle to prove that it was only about four feet deep.  My friends and I were the only ones to take him up on his offer.  We slid off the raft.  Now, this was the Rio Grande, not the 35 degree snow-fed Nenana, but I also wasn't wearing a dry suit and that 50 degree water was more than enough to make me question my life choices and send me scrambling back towards the raft.  However, as I was thrashing back to better decisions, I noticed one of my friends drifting happily downstream and I was shamed into staying in the water.  Besides, my other friend had jumped in just as the river deepened unexpectedly and inhaled a noseful of frigid water; by the time the guide had hauled her into the boat I had gone comfortably numb.  I pointed my toes, leaned back in my vest, and let the river carry me onward.

Decapitation Bridge, which was fortunately higher than it looked.

To be honest, I wasn't really looking forward to getting back in the raft anyway. It hadn't been a great experience the last time--hauled unceremoniously up and dumped in the bottom of the raft, left to try to flip myself over like some stranded turtle, scrabbling on the wet rubber and face planting multiple times while everyone else stared helpfully.  This time wasn't much better.  When it was time to get back in, the guide grabbed the straps of my life jacket and hefted me mostly into the raft.  I say "mostly" because he dropped me belly-first on the bottom of the boat, my legs canted above my head on the slick side of the raft; it took some awkward and frankly embarrassing flailing to get me back right-side up in my seat.  When it was my turn to pull my friend in, I made sure to pull her up enough that she could get her legs under her and was spared the wretched turtle flail experience.  I'm a gentleman like that.

After we changed into dry clothes, we took our guide's advice and headed a half-hour north to Taos for tacos.  We stopped by an unimpressive little restaurant with a view of the Sangre de Cristo mountains and the best Mexican food I've had in a long while.  The entire dining room was hazy.  As soon as we were seated, I started coughing. Water didn't help.  I couldn't figure out what was going on until one of our neighboring tables had their meal brought out, and then we saw the culprit: a plate of sizzling, scorched--and smoking--chilies.  Everything was suddenly clear (metaphorically). We'd basically been pepper sprayed from the moment we stepped in. It was totally worth it.  Our young and very competent waiter (he was the only one working tables) gave some top-notch suggestions and we all left very satisfied.


Taos was a very nice little town--a little touristy, but honestly also better maintained because of the tourists.  If I could do the trip over, I'd have just stayed in Taos.  We didn't stop to sight-see (we did still have a six hour drive home) but we did drive out to the Rio Grande Gorge Bridge.  Standing roughly 600 above the Rio Grande, it's the seventh-highest bridge in the U.S.  It was pretty neat.  There are sidewalks on either side of the bridge for pedestrians (which was smart because drivers just speed right across).  There is a hiking trail along one ridge, and a guy was in the parking lot selling "real turquoise" jewelry that was just a little too affordable to be authentic.  We were also unfortunately not allowed to drop anything off the bridge.  It wasn't really something I had considered until I saw the sign forbidding it, but after that it took some effort not to pocket one of the rocks from the parking lot and fling it into the middle of the gorge.



The drive home was unremarkable but perfect.  We talked about raising kids, adventures we wanted to take, fears about ourselves, experiences with our faith, and so much more; when the conversation lagged (as it will after 24 straight hours with the same people and not enough sleep) a couple of conversation card prompts got it flowing again.  10/10 recommend. 

So what's the takeaway? As hard as it is to take me-time as a mom, it is soooooooo good.  Emotionally, mentally, physically...it's good all around.  I wish we could have spent a little more time in Taos.  There's a lot to see--the Taos Pueblo, one of the oldest most continuously inhabited pueblos in the country; the eco-friendly earthship houses; Black Rocks Hot Springs; hiking, rafting, national parks, and of course the little downtown full of shops, artist galleries, and an old mission church. Even though I would have loved to do more, we did enough.  It was good to connect with a couple of really incredible women and have an adventure together.  We all need a little more of that.

So go do it.  Just bring extra socks.




This ancient relic was a pleasant surprise.